FAUX WOOD PANELING #5 coming in April? Nah- it's gonna be May.
The biggest and best FWP is on the way- here is what's on tap.
An interview with Craig Bell (you know him!) called What We Did...
Wade reviews a Faust box set, learns how to pronounce "Goethe."
Lotsa film, documentary and tv reviews, including an early episode of Casper (Casper Threw A Wrench In My Spooks!).
Long Plays... audiobooks and podcasts that compelled me for hours; Hepcats From Hell, The Story of Chris Chan, Me and The Devil by Nick Tosches, The Saga Of Tanya The Evil.
Eddie Flowers book excerpts regarding The King Of Writing, Richard Meltzer! Plus much else.
Viva Las Vegas (the author...a Portland fixture) overview for the Midwestern know nothing!
DMM / Relaxer in Chicago
Tentative: Hoosier Heff of Indiana on the hangout known as Jimbo's Pizza, plus another mystery contributor TBD...
Once again thanks to The Gulchers of The Richard Meltzer Fanclub- look out for more articles, audio and video in the coming months.
Pull yr Puds!
Wade
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ADVERTISING BEGINS W/ ISSUE 6
POSSIBLE FLEXI-DISC IN THE MIX!
Want to advertise with Faux Wood Paneling? At the moment we are accepting submissions from record shops, book stores, and strip joints. Guess which ones pay the most and therefore get more area page-to-page?
Yes, I want to try a Flexi. I'll pay for it, but I'm on the fence about who to put on plastic. Whatever it is, it's gotta fit on a 7".
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Fresh prints of all issues now in stock for 2024!
This mag is closely associated w/
The Richard Meltzer Fanclub on Twitter- see below. If you don't like bottle caps, hockey, sumo, boxing, wrestling, the beats, or, heck, ROCKWRITE or just realgood text-on-page, then STAY AWAY and turn your attention back to your Grey Poupon- don't even bother heading over to Quimby's, Feel It, Goner, Skeleton Dust and Feeding Tube, who're (I'm only guessing) still currently carrying our wares, since they don't fly off shelves...
Issue #1 of Faux Wood Paneling was pecked out on a Smith-Corona Typewriter and features my writs from April '22-February '23,
along with Liberty Lord's beautiful formatting.
28 Pages! Cover 2 Cover!
*BACK IN STOCK*
Issue #2 of Faux Wood Paneling features a couple more guests (heroes, more like!) and looks even more better, although a computer was utilized in the writing fir dis one... it's a bit cleaner altogether. PRETTY!
Again, 28 Pages!! Cover 2 Cover!!
*BACK IN STOCK*
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ISSUE #3 of FAUX WOOD PANELING is NOW AVAILABLE in pink, blue and GOLD - more AC/DC appreciation and a review of the Peach Girl anime (seen via Crunchyroll) as well as a .HACK DVD posted on the YouTube. Assessments of polka rekkids, Battle Of The Nashville Hot Sammys, “Our Sabulous Time” in South Carolina
(what I did on my summer vacation) ... *STILL IN STOCK! *10 Dollars* for 1 copy and shipping!*
Me and Richard take in, separately, the long-lost kaiju film "Space Monster Wangmagwi!" A documentary that is "All 'Bout Ullillillia!" PLUS my first Burning Harddrive retrospective review- this one is about seeing Damo Suzuki in Koenji, Tokyo, Japan, Planet Earth. Blurbs on books about guns and shooters. An obit for friend and buddy and PAL Mister Pirtle, aka Rob Rioux.
ISSUE #4 of FAUX! WOOD! PANELING! is HERE FOR THE HOLIDAYS- fan club poetry, lotsa transcriptions, and folly...
Zachary Lipez of CREEM exhumes The United State of Whatever... Liam Lynch! Hoosier Heff sees Bob Dylan in Rough and Rowdy Ways! An interview with my favorite guitar hero / electronic maven (that I did not conduct), Daniel Martin-McCormick! MORE book and anime reviews, aka "some more dork shit;" "Masters Of Doom" and "Serial Experiments Lain," respectively- some film blurbs; Laurel Nakadate's "The Wolf Knife" and the 1940 adaptation of "Lil' Abner..." and the "Burning Harddrive" retrospective feature continues with a no-fussed review of Ariel Pink from their "Pom pom" tour. Also in this ish, more Richard Meltzer Fanclub Haikus of Gregory Ego!
XMAS w/ Meltzer and Andy Shernoff! KOOL AID JAMMERZ of Bloomington! And plenty more. Cover says it's 36 pages but really it's 40! Neat-O, bonus!
Out Now! *NEW AND IN STOCK! *10 Dollars* for 1 copy and shipping!*
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Each order comes with... well, assorted stuff, but if it's your first order you get Gulcher button pins, maybe some baseball cards and bottle caps. *sigh* if you still want this, well, email us at fauxwoodpaneling@gmail.com ...
we handle every order personally.
big thx, really,
-w
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Not convinced?
More txt from a prior YouTube vid ...
Faux Wood Paneling #2 - it’s here and in three colors! Pink, blue, green. Inside: an FWP mini book with instructions for the Centerville, Ohio based game (you heard it here first!) Third Bag!
Also inside? Shoe Walk details! What itz like to dress up as a big blue rabbit, or walk shoes as if they were dogs! Music, plenty of music, including an interview with my dad about seeing Bon Scott era AC/DC, a dream-interview with Connie Voltaire and an early review of Heavy Mother that other mags would not accept, not even for free! Some films get “reviewed” and there is even a guest appearance by Richard Meltzer himself, which was well worth making the centerfold around (fans of Nancy and Sam Beckett oughtaget a kick out of it too!).
More! Likesay, a bit about working at KFC. A comic about Katherine Dunn’s “Geek Love”—an Al Jaffee fold-in obit. Every issue ordered comes with a Gulcher button pin (also freshly pressed) and a baseball card. Why? Because baseball cards are great for taping button pins to, so’s’thatthey don’t scrape mag paper. They are Topps cards from ‘88, if you must know. *10 dolla each! also check with Feel It, Feeding Tube and Goner rekkids for copies!*
Faux Wood Paneling #1 - Gulchers Unite! FWP #1 is (was, no more as of August 5 2023) reprinted, back in stock and available in three colors (pink, green and blue). Inside this ish: a song for Lana Del Rey to sing, a late obit for B.c. Miller, stories about and stories including R. Meltzer and Duke Ellington, plus many feverish ramblings (sometimes literally!) on music and movies. Stock Letters To Creem Magazine also appear, and a half-baked assessment on AVGN, James Rolfe, which at least has a few nice indent quotes. *BACK IN STOCK*
Faux Wood Paneling #1 is now sold at Quimby’s in Chicago, and at Skeleton Dust rekkids in Dayton, OH (they got one left maybe)!
